Monday, December 22, 2008


Wow, it's hard to believe that Christmas is almost here. THREE DAYS?!?!?!
Whew, it certainly has been a very, very busy holiday season. We've had over three feet of snow with more on the way, making it nearly impossible to get anything done outside of the house. One would think my house would be immaculate, but no...I've been so stressed out with school and so, so busy.
We're having our house appraised tomorrow and I'm nervous about that. I'm nervous that the lady will cancel, but I'm most nervous that our house won't go for what we need it to. The mortgage guy said he talked to the appraiser and said she pulled comps and he said we should be fine, but ya never know. This is the same lady that appraised us before, we had some problems, so I'm really nervous.


But, Christmas is almost here. It's almost like, as an adult, I get sad before Christmas. It used to be such fun as a kid, but now, I'm realizing that all of this, all of the excitement, ends so quickly. In a matter of a few hours (maybe) all of the anticipation is gone :( It's a sad way to look at it, and I am so very excited for Christmas. Maybe there have just been things that have dampened this holiday season, but I am kind of sad to see Christmas come and go!
Thursday, December 18, 2008


YEP, that's 7:45 this morning, officially 24 hours of snow, we had 27.5 inches with another 15-20 predicted to fall by 4 PM. Then, it's supposed to stop. Well, let's hope so because I have SHOPPING to do! We have no bread, no milk, no staple foods...yikes. I have some Amish Friendship bread that's ready to be baked but that only yields 2 loaves. LOL...
Brandon will most likely be coming home from work-they cannot get parts and he had to un-stick the plow guy with our suburban :)
So, this'll be a nice mellow day of me and the kiddos hanging out, doing a bit of baking, and, oh writing my paper on Environmental Ethics. Oh goody...

Monday, December 15, 2008

Give credit where credit is due

I have always been a perfectionist, always pushed myself to do the absolute best by anyone's standards. That is just flippin' exhausting! However, when I do put other people aside, I find that my own standards are pretty high. I expect a lot from myself, especially when it comes to school.

Sometimes I get really frustrated because I feel like people don't understand the hard work it takes to continue to excel in college. It is HARD work...this is not something that you just coast through, it takes very hard work. So, when I share my excitement about my grades with people close to me, I get discouraged when I get a 'whatever' response like "cool" lol. Ugh, ESPECIALLY from my husband! Of all people, he should be pretty darn excited, but all I get out of him is a 'that's great' or 'neat'

I have a 4.0, I've made the dean's's all a very big deal to me. Yet some don't understand why it's such a big deal. This isn't easy; I put everything I have in to school, often making sacrifices that I really don't want to make. My freedom is a good example. Rather than go out, I have a paper to write. Rather than do ______, I have homework and reading to do. This takes up a lot of time, but it is so important to me to do well in school, to continue to get A's. It's just simply not an option to get any less than that, and if that happens, I can't even begin to describe how that will devastate me.

Perfectionist...I guess everyone has their cross to bear. Sometimes perfectionism can be a blessing, but other times it can be a curse. Getting less than an A for me means failure, and that sends me down a really bummer path that I usually don't recover from. It's exactly what happened in school when I was bad grade and I was done. Never excelled after that, just did what I could to get by. I don't want to, no, I CAN'T repeat that.

Sometimes I wonder if it's the lack of encouragement that gets to me. It would be nice if people asked about it, or if Brandon could take the boys for a bit while I get ahead on my assignments. Instead, I tend to feel like it's a burden when I do homework. I try to do it when he's not around so that he doesn't feel like he's obligated to take the boys, because I feel like he doesn't want to. Maybe just a little extra encouragement, support, and help is what I need. But, how do you explain that to someone? He doesn't really understand, and I don't think anyone understands, that while a B or C might be acceptable to them, it's not to me. I don't know, maybe I should just lighten up...then I would feel like I'm not putting my all in to a class and I'd feel guilty. It's just a vicious cycle.
Thursday, December 4, 2008


Okay, first off, I'm 100% supportive of people who do their own religion thing. I accept the fact that not everyone is a Christian, not everyone believes in God/Jesus, and some people commit atrocious crimes in the name of religion. The latter is um, not really acceptable to me, but I give them the freedom to believe what they believe I guess...
However, one thing that I have never, ever understood is first of all, how people can believe in Satan and NOT in God and vice versa. How can you believe in God's opposite if you don't believe in God?
But, why do people who don't believe in God/Jesus still celebrate Christmas? Um, CHRISTmas? Christmas for us Christians is the celebration of our Lord and Savior's birth, what does it represent for people who do not believe in him? If you do celebrate Christmas, isn't that sort of indirectly supporting or celebrating the birth of a religious figure?
I don't mean to attack anyone, because I am mostly curious about what it means to you, why you choose to celebrate it even though you don't believe in God/Jesus. Why not any other day of the year?

Boys' appointments

Justin and Owen had their annual checkups this morning, and all went well. Justin had his 4 yr checkup and Owen had his 3 yr checkup.
We'll start with Justin. He weighed in at 33 lbs (up 3 lbs since April) and he was 35 inches tall. He's a little guy as far as his height, but the doctor is pleased with his weight gain and the progress with the modified, gluten-free diet. He's doing well overall, and the doctor expressed some concern about his speech but just told me to spend more one-on-one time working with him, making sure he sees how I form words and that he repeats it.
Owen weighed in at 31 lbs and was 36 1/2 inches tall. The doctor is very impressed with Owen, he said he was a very, very smart kid. Owen was given a clean bill of health regarding his kidneys earlier this year but he would like a scan done when he starts kindergarten.

The doctor was very impressed with both of the boys. He said Justin had a great, mellow personality and that Owen was very bright. He said they both connect with people on an unusual level that he rarely sees, like they are very in tune to people, and that they are :) Made me feel good.

Justin got five shots today and Owen only got one, so Justin's had a rough day...

Time to sit down and watch a movie with the kiddos!
Monday, December 1, 2008

My domestic life

Browsing through the pictures of some of my old classmates, I came to realize that very few of them are in the situation I am in. As in, the domestic situation...and, why should they be in the same situation? My situation is far from typical!
I see them partying it up on crazy vacations, I see girls kissing random guys and vice versa. I see all kinds of crazy 'college' behavior and I can't help but think "I'm glad I missed that!" Isn't that a bizarre thing to think? I'm actually glad I missed all of that.
What I hate is when people feel sorry for me because I didn't experience the 'typical' teenager/young adult experience. From my point of view, I do not see what is so fun about hooking up with random people while I'm drunk at a frat party. The same shit for FOUR years...
Oh, but they feel sorry for me and make comments because I'm busy raising good men and productive members of society? How silly!

Eh, besides...


Rather than party it up and have vacations when i'm young and broke, I'll just wait til I'm 'old' and established :)