Friday, January 29, 2010

Could it be?

Yea, [they are] greedy dogs [which] can never have enough, and they [are] shepherds [that] cannot understand: they all look to their own way, every one for his gain, from his quarter.

Isaiah 56:11

Okey dokey! Sure, we've all had times when we've been convicted; when God has said "Hey, you thick-headed lady, pay attention!"

Well, I've recently had one of those moments. So, I thought this Bible verse would be fitting for what I heard from Him. Ouch...greedy dogs which can never have enough...that certainly strikes a chord with me. So, I've been going through a season of serious doubt. Doubt about how we will survive, how we will buy food, how we will afford our house payment. Work is slow, money is extremely tight, and we have never been in this financial situation before.

Before this all happened, we were pretty darn comfortable. We could buy groceries whenever we needed to, even if we didn't NEED to, ya know? I could shop, afford a gym membership, go on vacation, eat out, and anything else that I took for granted. I certainly was not being a good steward of my blessings. And then, they all went away. All the monetary blessings, anyway. Since then, I have struggled to trust God, struggled to understand that perhaps this was all part of his master plan, part of my lesson that I was supposed to be learning. Ever since my world was turned upside down, we've had a series of ups and downs. Sometimes things are great, sometimes they are just awful. Really, I wasn't seeing it, I wasn't seeing what He was trying to show me.

I think the fog is finally lifting and I'm starting to see the purpose in all of this turmoil that's been going on. But, this brings about a whole new host of emotions and ideas. Now I need some new direction, so I suppose I know what that means! Gosh, I really hope I can change...


Julia said...

I hear you. I have had to learn about good stewardship the hard way too. Funny thing is in the times I needed it most, I didn't know many of the tricks of the trade, such as menu planning, making homemade stock, laundry soap, etc... the internet has been such a great tool for growth.

Pat said...

We have been going through this off and on for about three years. Currently, we have NO job for the past 1.5 months and a new baby due in just a few weeks.

I must say that these have been the best of times, though, as a family, as a married couple and spiritually. The financial part has been terrible, but I love what we're learning and how we're loving through it all!

And as Julia said, I just started making my own laundry detergent, baking my own bread, etc. and it has been wonderful. I feel so much more "useful" as a person, too!