Sunday, March 11, 2012

Then there are "those" days...

Today I'm having one of "those" days. I'm sure every person with a heartbeat has an idea of what I'm talking of those days where you just...need...a...break. 

We're in the midst of some serious changes in my household. We've had to make a decision that we've never wanted to make, we're in the middle of figuring out how to move our household several hundred miles away, I'm in the last quarter of my college "career", and then there's all the normal craziness of single-parenting four children while my husband is away for work. Let's not forget the 7 year old's science fair project that's due in a week. Ugh. More work. Work, Work, Work.

I'm overwhelmed and I...NEED...A...BREAK! It's rainy outside, the kids have tracked mud through the clean house, there are food products and wrappers everywhere (my fault-I tried to escape for an hour and have an uninterrupted conversation with my husband), the kids are completely unruly and misbehaved. They just don't understand. I've been frustrated all day because their behavior is just awful. Why can't they just play nicely downstairs??? I NEED A BREAK!

And then something happened. I'm sitting here stewing about how awful today is, how overwhelmed I am, and my 7 year old turns on a TV show that I particularly enjoy and sits down. All the kids are quiet...

I really don't need a break as in a "vacation" or "to get away", I just need some cooperation. Some quiet. And that's exactly what's happening right now. The thing's really not *their* fault. I am under a lot of stress and it can feel like walking on eggshells around me at times. I do my best to keep a light environment when the kids are awake, but sometimes the situation gets the best of me. 

Isn't that interesting? The *situation*is controlling ME. How bizarre...something that is nothing unless *I* make it something is controlling me, my attitude, my feelings. Do I really need a break? Maybe so...everyone needs some time to decompress. But perhaps I need to learn a more effective way of dealing with things. I need to learn to not let things get the best of me, to not become overwhelmed by what's going on. 

So frequently we like to say "My kids are driving me crazy!" I'm going to start challenging myself to examine what is *really* going it my kids, or is it the situation? How many fights could be avoided if instead of projecting our frustrations or anger on to people, if we analyzed what was really eating at us, what the "real" issue is. I can say that more often than not, it's the situation, it's not my kids. It's the fact that my kids are loud when I want quiet, it's the fact that the kids have made a mess when I just got finished cleaning. Is it my kids, or is it the situation? 

Anyway...that's my random rambling for today...