Tuesday, April 24, 2012

It's a funny kind of funny, a funny kind of sad :(

This describes my emotions as of late...

I've been going through some serious stuff lately, and all I can think of is how this is just a funny kind of sad. It's a weird sad. Today, I'm talking about my expectations as a parent and how I'm surprised that I'm sad something isn't working out "according to plan". 

So I'm notoriously known as the girl who is *terrified* of making plans, but that's not always the case. I like to leave my schedule open because I hate to disappoint people if I can't make an event, but when it comes to my kids and their childhood, I like plans. 

Justin went to preschool when he was younger, then Owen was able to go. I always assumed Jacek would have the same experience and go to preschool and for the most part, he did. But lately that's not been the case, and I found out today that he will no longer be going to preschool. It makes me sad, but I don't know why. 

I think it makes me sad because I long for him to have the *same* experiences that his brothers had. It was a positive experience for Justin and Owen, but Jacek never took to the 'school' thing. So I shouldn't be disappointed that he's not able to go any longer, but I'm still disappointed that there won't be any preschool pictures to hang alongside his brothers' preschool pictures. I haven't figured out why this bothers me so much :( He seems okay with it, but I'm not. 

Sometimes parenting brings up things in me that I really don't like, and this is one of those times.