Monday, May 28, 2012

Where is *your* focus?

Well, the past few months have been quite a ride for my family. We've been through a lot of changes, and these changes will continue through the end of June. June itself is a ridiculously busy month with a wedding, kids getting out of school, bachelorette party, my graduation from college, and moving 500 miles away. Despite all of my activity, I still  have time to focus on someone else's situation and think "Wow, they sure are lucky. Everything is going right in their life, things are falling in to place for them, and we're stuck by the wayside in these horrible circumstances. Why can't *we* catch a break?" 

Worrying about someone else, or focusing on someone else, is just plain exhausting. I cannot tell you how many times I've questioned God's judgment or His plan. Sometimes I just wish that *we* would be the lucky ones to with the lottery, or find a great deal on a house, or have a baby (yes, I'm aware that I have four already...but babies are so wonderful I can't help but want another one). 

That's me...always focused on someone else. So much of my energy expended on someone else and on feelings of sadness, jealousy, and envy. In the Bible, Joseph's brothers were jealous of him and the favor he had with their father, so they did all kinds of unspeakable acts out of their jealousy. That's why I don't like these emotions...because they make people do mean things like get angry and destroy relationships. These emotions stink. 

But sometimes we cannot see past our own circumstances and we get jealous of what someone else has, or what positive event is happening in someone else's life. At this point, I want to scream at the Lord to "FIX ME" because I don't like feeling this way. Ephesians 6:18 says we should always be in prayer, and Romans 8:26-27 says that even if we don't have the words to pray, the Lord will help us because he knows our heart.  Philippians 4:6 says we should pray for everything...

So...pray always, pray fervently, and look to the Lord when I'm faced with dilemmas and feelings like this? I think I can do that :)