Wednesday, January 2, 2013


Well, we're at the start of another year! That means I've been taking the last few days for some self-reflection to try and determine what direction I'd like my life to go in for the year 2013. Now anyone who knows me is aware that I do not particularly like setting "New Year's Resolutions" because for some reason, I think that automatically sets me up for failure. At what point does it stop being the "new year"? And I also have a hard time with the word "resolution" for some reason. I'm not sure why, but I just prefer to do some reflection and try and find things that I'd like to do for the next year, think about things I'm excited about, and even confront things that I'm nervous about. So, I'm taking this post to do just that, and I'll share it with whomever would like to read. 

First of all, 2012 was a different year, a year that my husband and I had to make some very difficult choices about our living situation and our future. Although we are 100% positive that everything in the last year has been a God-led decision, it doesn't take away the fact that we had to make some painful decisions-they just didn't seem to line up with God's plan for our lives, in this particular season of our lives. I've dealt with a lot of shame, embarrassment, and anxiety as a result of some of these decisions, so I would like to take 2013 head-on and get rid of these feelings. It's a new year, and although I still have some anxieties about the repercussions of our decisions (mainly a fear of the unknown), I need to get over the fact that "it happened" and move on with life. I'm still waiting for a little bit of closure, and I think that's what has had me so up-in-arms over the last several months. Even though we're done with 99% of the stuff, we still have that one thing, that one final detail that needs to be taken care of. I won't say exactly what it is, but if you could pray a general prayer for a detail of our past to be taken care of sooner rather than later, it would be much appreciated!

Now...on to my big list for 2013!

1. I am excited about...
~A new opportunity to start fresh. It's a new year, and that brings about opportunity!
~Establishing new friendships
~Making changes in my personal life that I have wanted to make for a long time
~The future. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us. 
~Summer! I can't wait to sit on the beach and watch the kids play in the water

2. I am nervous about...
~My anxiety. It puts a wrench in a lot of my plans
~Putting my boys in sports! I'm not a fan of competition, but I cannot let that get in the way of my kids having experiences and learning life lessons that will benefit them.
~The future. Yes, I'm excited and nervous about the future. 
~My student loans. Graduating with my Bachelor's degree was a huge accomplishment, but now the honeymoon is over and we have to start paying back those outrageous student loans that I wish I never would have taken out. 
3. I am thankful for...
~Our abundant blessings from last year
~My God and His unfailing love
~Our opportunities to do things we've never done before
~My husband. He has a way of making me a better person
~Our current situation. Point blank: I love where we are at in our lives right now

4. I would like to accomplish...
~Overcoming my anxiety and fears
~A monthly budget with my husband
~Learning new recipes throughout the year
~Being more organized
~a less-cluttered lifestyle and home life
~Reading the Bible more regularly
~Making a monthly meal plan

A general list:
I would like to take more time to read in 2013. I'm not putting a specific number or type of book, but I'm very passionate about reading and it's something I enjoy. 

I would like to get my daughter potty-trained. This is one of those "it has to happen" goals...she's been the most difficult one to train out of all four of the kids. 

I would like to spend more time doing family activities. Our move to Montana really helped with that for most of the year last year, and I have to say that my husband's schedule at work makes it very easy to spend quality time as a family when school is not in session. But I would like to find a way to make family time when school IS in session just as fun and fulfilling. 

I would like to worry less. I plan to accomplish that by spending more time in the Bible and in prayer, as I firmly believe that God really does want us to come to Him with our issues. 

I would like to take a bit more time to cultivate meaningful, fulfilling friendships with both old and new friends. 

I actually do a lot of reflection throughout the year and this list certainly isn't exhaustive, but it's a general idea, a way for me to get things down on paper so it really drills it in to my brain. And there's something about transparency that I find mildly therapeutic :)    

Happy 2013 everyone!